WINNING BY MORE THAN A HAIR

Season 20, Episode Five, Bavaria: As bored bovines watched from their stalls, the fifth episode of this season’s Amazing Race ended just like the two previous episodes. For the third time in a row, federal agents Art and J.J. took first place.

“We win because we dominate,” J.J. declared.

And, so far, he’s right.

Other teams quarreled, got lost, went to the wrong castles (there were a lot) and had gnome-on-ice issues, but the agents – Drew and Emily’s team – quickly conquered every challenge.

“I’m not ashamed of who I am, and I can craft a man’s facial hair,” J.J. said as he crafted a man’s facial hair in the odd "Championship Male" detour that asked racers to style some elaborate Bavarian beards.

So is Season 20 already done and dusted? Will the agents run the table and pick up a cool million at the end? Who knows, but recent history provides a reminder that it ain’t over until it’s over.

Andy and Tommy

In Season 19, pro snowboarders Andy and Tommy won six episodes in all, three of them in a row. And yet, they didn’t make the finals because they misread a clue in the next-to-last episode.

Seven teams remain in this season, Mississippi cousins Kerri and Stacy (Team Boston’s duo) having been eliminated in this episode. They made a very nice gingerbread castle, one of the detours, but they had some trouble finding their way around Bavaria.

“I can just about navigate myself to the mall, and that’s about it,” Kerri said early on, in one of those remarks that always comes back to sound bite a contestant.

Kerri and Stacy

And their exit could have been caused by bad karma. An earlier You Tube clip shows the cousins gloating over the elimination of the twins, Elliot and Andrew (you remember them, one played soccer, they couldn’t string a harp…). In the YouTube clip, they also trash talked Ralph and Vanessa, wishing them hard times.

Actually, that wish seemed to come true. Though R and V (Cindy and Jim’s team) managed to finish third, the dating divorcees did some serious quarreling along the way.

Ralph (“three marriages, none successful”) at one time said he enjoyed pushing Vanessa’s buttons. “The little devil in me was laughing because I knew her legs were on fire,” he said as he nagged Vanessa up a mountain.

Rachel and Brendon, last week’s dysfunctional duo, seemed to be getting along. I think she only cried once and just briefly confused Bavaria with Bolivia. The couple (Team Bushnell's duo) managed fifth place with Brendon hopping on the finishing map and falling on his behind.

In other highlights, Mark and Bopper (Team WalkWorth) yodeled their way through the speed bump they picked up by being last in the previous episode.  Ricola worthy the yodel wasn’t but, hey, they’re rookies. Later, Bopper was almost done in by a climb up to King Ludwig’s castle – I figure it was his asthma combined with the altitude – but he prayed and then revived.

Gnome

And the Travelocity Gnome was this episode’s Ford Focus. The contestants carried the product placement around, and they also had to slide it on the ice in a curling-like road block.

Overheard:

J.J. : Art’s an idiot most of time, and I’m going to let him know it.

Rachel Reilly: I have to remember that Brendon’s my little buki bear and not my enemy.

Vanessa (to Ralph): Congratulations, you made YouTube.

Mark (of the witch): She’s uglier than a mud-rail fence.

Vanessa (to Ralph): I’m mad at you, but I love you.

Order of finish

1) Art and J.J.

2) Joey Fitness and Danny

3) Vanessa and Ralph

4) Rachel and Dave

5) Brendon and Rachel

6) Bopper and Mark

7) Nary and Jamie

8) Kerri and Stacy

You asked:

Timmy Bowers

At one point Stacy mentioned that her husband is a professional basketball player, a fact not mentioned before. Turns out he’s Timmy Bowers, a graduate of Mississippi State now playing in Italy. He’s also played in Israel.