Amazing Race, Season
22, Episode 7
By Jim Memmott
Botswana – The
icemen cometh, and they're doing well.
The goofy Battaglia brothers, professional hockey players
and jokesters, showed they can perform on soft water as well as hard as they won their second consecutive leg of the
Amazing Race, their third overall, by waterskiing through crocodiles.
The skiing, perhaps not as dangerous as it seemed, was a
Fast Forward, one of those challenges that
 |
| Bates and Anthony |
As a bonus, the boys got to take off their shirts. “You
can’t get better scenery than this,” Bates preened, “and Africa looks good,
too.”
Africa looked good to best-friends Pam and Winnie, as well,
but they couldn’t get their cart-pulling donkeys to move in the “Brawn” challenge.
(Those critters are stubborn.)
So they switched to the “Brain” challenge in which they had
to take a horseback ride and remember, in order, the 10 animal cutouts they
spotted on their journey.
 |
| Donkey |
Has anyone ever been stopped for speeding on the Amazing Race? I don’t remember that
travel reality ever happening. Hence my surprise when two teams were pulled
over by Botswana ‘s finest.
First it was Jennifer and Caroline, Jennifer driving. (At least I think it was Jennifer. She's the taller one, right?)
This happened right after the country singers said that God
has blessed them in their lives and on the race. God gives, God takes away. But the singers came up with the necessary pula and paid their fine. They went on to finish third on the leg, right behind roller-derby moms Mona and Beth, who, to my surprise were a little snipey toward each other. Too long on the road, I bet.
Chuck and Wynona, the married Alabamans, finished fourth,
surprising this viewer with their expertise in the Brain challenge. Beyond
that, they didn’t really criticize each other. Perhaps the Amazing Race has saved their marriage. Could be, though what taxidermist Chuck really wanted to do was bag a little big game. His wall back home lacks tigers, lions and meerkats.
Speaking of marriages under stress, newlywed Buffalonians
Max and Katie also got caught in the speed trap, Max driving at the time. Then Max backed into a pole, denting whatever product-placement Ford it was he was driving (a Ford, it would seem, without back-up vision.)
“Come on, babe, we’re doing good,” Max said at one point.
“The correct term is ‘doing well.’” Katie said, channeling
her inner Strunk and White.
Doing good or well, the couple easily performed the
typically inane speed bump they incurred by finishing last in the previous
non-elimination episode. (They had to do some sort of dance. I couldn’t watch.)
Regardless, the ever-perky Joey and Meghan edged them out for fifth
place.
 |
| Natalie and Nadiya |
Looks like the Race
takes a holiday next week, giving way to the County Music Awards. Looks like the next
episode will be a cliffhanger with Wynona rappelling or not rappelling down a
rock face. There’s some snow, too. Could be good.
Overheard:
Max: Where the
hell are the cars; it’s stupid.
Katie: You are
stupid.
Wynona: There’s
just a smell about Africa.
Max: I do all the
extra stuff and then you start blaming me.
Anthony: (Of the
crocodile): He’s just looking for his next meal, a couple of Italian boys.
 |
| Cindy Schmitt |
Cindy Schmitt to the
blogger: You’re not going to use
that as a quote. Please, Jim, have some dignity.
Joey: I feel like
Pocahontas.
Pamela: Crying is
for bitches.
Order of Finish
1) Anthony and Bates
2) Mona and Beth
3) Caroline and Jennifer
4) Chuck and Wynona
5) Joey and Meghan
6) Max and Katie
