A slow walk to elimination

Amazing Race, 31, Episode 2

Tokyo/Laos – It was off  to Laos, where the teams did everything from mastering the local pronunciation to riding the local elephants.

Leo and Jamal

At the end of the episode (spoiler) the Afghanimals, cousins Leo and Jamal, were gloating, having won for the second week in a row. 

Laura and Rupert, perhaps the most likeable team in Race history, were gone, taking this pool’s Team Beltway with them. Life, as we know, isn’t fair.

Here’s four takeaways:

1) Spirit weak:

Rupert, tied-dyed but never tongue-tied, and, with Laura, a proud Survivor veteran, spread happiness wherever he went. And boy did he come through with the quotes.

But for a guy who claimed a spiritual affinity with elephants (see below), he couldn’t get the

Rupert and Laura

giant beast to follow orders. It may have been that he didn’t speak loud enough, or clear enough. He seemed to want to coax, rather than command.

Regardless, if host Phil Keoghan were on his A-game, he would have declared the episode a non-elimination and kept Rupert around. Just saying.

2) The devil within:

Waxing philosophic, as he tends to do, Colin Guinn reflected on the way he was in Season 5 of The Amazing Race when he was paired with life partner Christie Woods. He was, in his own words, “intense and frantic.”

“For the last 15 years, Christie and I have both grown a ton,” he told the camera. So he’s mellowed out. Would you like to bet on that? The editors are setting him up. The guy’s going to lose it. Just wait.

3) Separated at birth:

Sherri Ann Cabot

What’s with sisters Rachel Reilly and Elissa Slater? Amazing Race analysts – AKA, the people in this pool – had given them a low seeding, primarily because Rachel, when she was teamed with husband Brendon on earlier races, tended to lose it. 

But, hey, they were fourth the first episode, third the second. 

Hearing them chat, I also found myself wondering if Elissa, who has a hesitant, spacy way of getting to a point, was channeling Jennifer Coolidge in Best in Show. Here’s Coolidge as Sherri Ann Cabot talking about an amazing and very physical relationship.

4) Jumping for joy

Becca and Floyd, Team Fun, can bring out the curmudgeon in any viewer (at least this viewer.) But, good grief, they’re good. They survived a U-Turn, as did Tyler and Korey. And their duet on the Laotian alphabet in which they hopped up and down was a highlight for the ages.

Becca and Floyd

Overheard:

Becca: Hawaiian shirts are coming back.

Rachel:It’s so hard not to have my hubby here.  I miss and love my little bukie bear.

Nicolle: If you feel comfortable, you’re probably going to just get out.

Corrine: I haven’t had any fun yet. If I had a funometer, it would be at zero.

Rupert: Our bar is set very low. We just want to beat one team and knock this newbie out of us.

Colin: They’re (the monks) really holding space for our collective consciousness.

Britney: On Big Brother, you probably average 15 hours of sleep a day.

Jamal (riding an elephant): This is the best road block ever. I love you Amazing Race.

Rupert: Oh my god, they did both detours and passed us.

Britney: This elephant is real chill.

Victor: This is the slowest footrace I’ve ever seen.

Rupert: I love elephants. Elephants have been my spirit guide for years. They represent the strength I’ve always wanted.

Laura: A stubborn elephant let us down.

Rupert: I considered myself one of the toughest Survivors out there, and Amazing Race kicked my ass.

Order of finish:

1) Leo and Jamal

2) Nicole and Victor

3) Rachel and Elissa

4) Christie and Colin

5) Janelle and Britney

6) Corinne and Eliza

7) Tyler and Korey

8) Chris and Bret

9) Becca and Floyd

10) Laura and Rupert

Getting to know you

Season 31, Episode 1, Los Angeles/Tokyo

Mixed realities: Here’s four takeaways from the first episode of Season 31 of the Amazing Race:

1) It's back: The Race doesn't get all that much respect from CBS. This time it's been gone for almost 14 months, an eternity in television land. 

But here it is with yet some more gimmick casting featuring  graduates from The Amazing Race, Survivor and Big Brother. Presumably host Phil Keoghan set up a recruiting table at a reality show convention, took applications and went from there.

Leo and Jamal cheer their win

For those of us Race loyalists who don’t know that much about the other shows, it's hard to know  whom to hate, whom to love.

But, the ratings for the first episode were solid. Phil did OK.

2) Climb every mountain. Every season, the first team out is inexplicably bad, or unlucky or both. 

Art and JJ

This episode, Art, a federal agent teamed with fellow fed JJ, both Amazing Race alums, couldn’t make it up the slippery slopes of a miniature Mount Fuji. Finally, he threw in the towel and took a 4-hour penalty. Other racers figured the climb out. Art and JJ are gone.

3) Pot/kettle division: Phil announced that the first challenge in Tokyo was “inspired by Japanese game shows that are famous for their cringe-worthy entertainment.” 

The Amazing Race is, of course, famous for its cringe-worthy entertainment, people eating bugs, wading in manure, and Luke running through chilly Siberia in his tighty whities.

4) Handicapping the Race: After the first episode was completed, participants in this pool matched themselves with a Race team. They picked in reverse order to how they finished last time out. Thus, Dennis Doell selected first this time, going with Jamal and Leo, the cousins who finished first in the first episode.They're annoying, but good.

Rachel and Elissa

The choices more-or-less mirrored the first episode finishes, with one significant exception.

Sisters Rachel and Elissa, who finished fourth in the episode, were the ninth team chosen. Perhaps this reflected a lack of confidence in Rachel, who, on previous races with her husband, Brendon, was subject to breakdowns. First leg this season, she actually seemed more secure. 

Overheard:

Phil: (It’s) our first-ever reality show down.

Rupert: I have played Survivor four times and lost Survivor four times.

Rupert: Oh God, this is way harder than Survivor.

Floyd: I’ll bet my half of $1 million that she (Becca) climbs it (Mt. Fuji) in 30 seconds.

JJ (watching Art slip and slide): God almighty, this is embarrassing.

Order of finish

1) Leo and Jamal

2) Christie and Colin

3) Tyler and Korey

4) Rachel and Elissa

5) Becca and Floyd

6) Nicole and Victor

7) Chris and Bret

8) Janelle and Britney

9) Corinne and Eliza

10) Rupert and Laura

11) Art and JJ