Season 28, Episode 3:
Cartagena, Colombia — It’s early; it’s confusing; and one of my
predictions has already bit the dust.
Last week, I declared that the Vine Brothers, Darius and
Cameron,
were “a good bet to last for a while.”
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| Darius and Cameron |
Not so fast, forecaster. They’re gone, eliminated in Episode
3 because Darius lost about a year and a half on a needle-in-a-haystack challenge
that asked him to find some bags by the same designer in a crowded marketplace.
His problem wasn’t so much finding the bags; he,
alone among all the other racers, couldn’t find the person to whom he was
supposed to give the bags.
So it goes. The guys took veteran poolsters Bob and Sandy
Wilcox with them. Life isn’t fair.
So where does that leave this prognosticator going into
Friday’s Episode 4? Off hand, I would say a little confused and a little grumpy.
 |
| Erin and Joslyn? |
Confused: For the
life of me, I can’t keep some of the teams straight, especially Erin and Joslyn,
the Clevver TV stars, and Brittany and Jessica, the models. Really, if one
racer from each of these teams traded places, I wouldn’t know it. Indeed, maybe
they have.
I’m also baffled as to why claustrophobia has emerged as the
new acrophobia. Instead of scaling heights and jumping off cliffs – the standard
Race tests of daring do – the contestants
are being sent underground, twice so far. I know being buried alive is a
downer, but visually, it’s not all that compelling.
Grumpy: I’m a
little peeved that no real villain has emerged after three episodes. I’m
hopeful that dancing Dana, who’s paired with dancing Matt, will up her game and
really turn on him. But so far, she’s just a little touchy, what with her tendency
to tell him to stop
talking.
 |
| Matt and Dana |
A little touchy does stand out in the world of the
pathologically perky. The racers have to be upbeat, I guess, in order to preserve
their social media personae, but we can always hope that the grind of travel
will get to them.
OK, enough whining.
The season does show some promise. There’s a typically
strong and athletic team, Brodie and Kurt, the Frisbee freaks, winners of Episode 3. Sometimes early success is a preliminary to later failure, so we've got that to look forward to.
And there’s also the team of Tyler and Korey, who are funny
and surprisingly good, having finished, second, first and second. Call
me a softie, though; I was disappointed to learn that they are “just friends.”
I thought they were dating. My bad.
 |
| Scott and Blair |
Codger Corner: The
two remaining parent/child teams seem sort of doomed, but there’s a lot to be
said for Scott, who is along for the race with his daughter Blair.
He’s learning more than he wants to know about her – her
threat to twerk for pesos startled him – but he puts his head down and gets the job done.
(Though, good heavens, couldn’t he have a heart-to-heart with her about her
tendency to scream when happy.)
Other shoes:
Burnie and Ashley seem too much in love at the moment. That’s
worrisome.
Thanks to the bus conductor challenge, Zach discovered that Rachel,
the CFO of his company, can’t count money. Stay tuned. (Small world: Zach’s a star; a guy on the street in Colombia
recognized him from YouTube. Selfie!)
Overheard:
Tyler: I think I’ve won something.
Korey: You’ve won America’s heart.
Erin: I may quit my job and just run buses.
Dana (to Matt): Don’t talk to me, go back into your own world, let
me live my life.
Matt: We have to stay a little calmer.
Order of finish:
1 Brodie and Kurt
2 Tyler and Korey
3 Burnie and Ashley
4 Dana and Matt
5 Brittany and Jessica
6 Sheri and Cole
7 Erin and Joslyn
8 Scott and Blair
9 Zach and Rachel
