Amazing Race, Season
22, Episode 6
By Jim Memmott
Botswana – First
the Amazing Race tried to put out a
fire. Then the racers tried to start a fire. Along the way, there were Kalahari
Bushmen and scorpions and even a little love in an episode that
finished inconclusively.
Yes (spoiler alert) it proved to be a non-elimination leg,
as Max and Katie, newly married Buffalonians were given a reprieve.
The Race producers
sought a pardon for themselves before the race got under way.
At issue was last week’s episode in Hanoi, Vietnam. It showed
the teams watching a performance of a patriotic, pro-Communist song. Then they
ran by a "memorial," the wreckage of a U.S. B-52 shot down in the Vietnam War.
The national commander of the American Legion (and others) complained
after the segment aired, calling the scenes a “slap in the face” to those who
have served in the military.
Thus tonight’s episode began with host Phil Keoghan reading
a statement apologizing to “veterans, particularly those who served in Vietnam”
for the “insensitive parts” of the Hanoi episode.
“Big hair, big brain Katie,” Max said. “She’s got it going
on right now.”
“I want to keep the fact that I am smart and have a
doctorate a secret,” said Katie, a former Buffalo Jill who has a doctorate from
the University of Buffalo’s School of Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Sciences.
Smart, yes. Good at building a fire while Kalahari Bushmen
look on? Maybe not.
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| Second Class Badge |
Katie and her cigar-salesman husband lost valuable time
trying to ignite some grass using zebra manure and two sticks, a task this
writer remembers completing on his way to his Second Class badge in the Boy
Scouts. (Hard? You try to find zebra manure in Little Valley, N.Y.)
No spark, no fire, Katie and Max switched to a bird-snare
building challenge that had rescued other racers and delighted the Bushmen as
well. Still, the pair hopped on the mat last, only to be told that they did not
have to go back to Buffalo. Yet.
Hockey brothers Bates and Anthony, the duo backed by fresh-from-the-wedding-shower
Brooklyn hipsters Emily and Drew, won the episode, in part because they were
the only ones to get a fire going.
 |
| Emily and Drew showering |
These puckmen are goofy but good, though we may never know
how good, as they are continually distracted by the beauty of Caroline and
Jennifer, the country singers who finished fifth on the episode, right ahead of
roller-derby moms, Beth and Mona.
“Caroline and Jennifer, they’re frickin’ amazing,” Bates exclaimed.
“Twelves out of 10.”
Speaking of love, Chuck and Wynona, the married Alabamans,
seemed a little closer than they were last week, when their marriage and their
race prospects were on the rocks.
In tonight’s episode, the taxidermist and his bride finished
a surprising third, right behind best friends Pam and Winnie, thanks in part to
Chuck’s skill as a trapper. He perfected that talent while avoiding high school.
Crime pays, and at the race finish, the couple kissed. I give them at least
another week.
Have I mentioned
scorpions?
 |
| Joey agaga |
Before they built fires or trapped fowl, the racers were asked
to accompany three Bushmen on a scorpion hunt. Once one of the deadly creatures was unburied (is that a word?), the racer had to put it in a jar.
The Bushmen usually made this easier by sucking the poison
out of the scorpion (tastes like chicken?), but it was scary, especially
for Joey, the YouTube sensation and partner of Meghan. (Early readers of the blog claim that the Bushmen were using their mouths to clean the scorpion. Whatever. Don't try it at home.)
Joey is, well, demonstrative, and he demonstrated his fear
of scorpions with grand-opera passion.
“I’m only 21 years old; I don’t want to die,” he allowed,
hands waving, eyes rolling. “Oh, oh, oh, I have to touch that thing.”
Which he did. Not dying in the process. It was, after all, a
non-elimination episode. No sting. No death. Everyone lives to fire up again.
Overheard:
Caroline: Jen has a baby crush on Bates.
Meghan: In high
school, we weren’t the most popular people.
Chuck: I don’t
feel we’re ready to throw in the towel, that we’re ready to get divorced or
nothing yet.
Anthony: The
girls, they’re hanging tight with us; you can’t complain about that.
Max: (to the
Bushmen): You guys see who won the Bills game yesterday?
Joey: I am the
scorpion-king hunter.
Katie (of the
Bushmen): My god they stink.
Wynona: Am I
going to die if this thing bites me?
Mona: Come on
Beth. You birthed three kids. You can run.
Order of Finish
1) Anthony and Bates
2) Pamela and Winnie
3) Chuck and Wynona
4) Joey and Meghan
5) Caroline and Jennifer
6) Mona and Beth
7) Max and Katie
