ON SAFARI IN TANZANIA

The Amazing Race, Episode Seven, Season 20, Kilimanjaro, Tanzania: Oh dear.  We took a week off so we could enjoy the Country Music Awards and while we were away the racers got all huffy puffy with each other.

Kilimanjaro

“Coming up tonight,” Phil said at the start. “Animosity, accusations and one of the most challenging continents in the world: Africa.”

As it turned out the episode was worth the alliteration. The animosity was evident, the accusations vicious and Africa challenging (and gorgeous). It was a night to remember.

It started with an everyday occurrence. Someone jumped ahead in line and gave the finger to the person or persons he had bumped into. Been there, seen that, and was not surprised that other people joined the fray and used the occasion to work out some anger issues.

Most significantly, the long-simmering animosity between Vanessa (Ralph’s partner) and Rachel Reilly (Brendon’s partner) bubbled over and culminated in Vanessa telling Rachel, “Get your nose done before you get your boobs done. Do everybody a favor.” 

No one enjoyed this spat more than those pot-stirrers, Art and J.J., who had already been insisting that Rachel and Brendon were followers, not leaders, and had been spreading the word that Jamie and Nary aren’t teachers.

Nary and Jamie

“OMG!” America screamed. “They aren’t teachers?”

Well, actually race watchers knew that already, having been told early on that Jamie and Nary are federal agents. But how did Art and J.J.  crack their disguises?

 “Teachers are a lot more friendlier and more … bouncy,” J.J. explained in a shout-out to educators everywhere.

Keep in mind that all of this happened pretty much before the race – which started in Azerbaijan – really got going.  Not that it mattered, as it proved to be a non-elimination episode, Jamie and Nary having been granted a reprieve.

Which is good.

The faux teachers fell way behind on the second challenge of the episode, a relationship test that involved the erection of a safari tent. They were painfully slow at the task (Jamie suggested that this was one time it would help to have a man on their team.)

They were so slow, in fact that they knew they would be last, so they lingered on their way to the pit stop and looked at some elephants. For once on the Race, someone actually enjoyed the Race.

And also they didn’t yell at each other, something that several other duos couldn’t avoid; though anyone who has ever tried to put up a tent or wallpaper a room or play doubles in the company of a loved one knows that regrettable words can happen.

Wesley Snipes and
Woody Harrelson

Previous to erecting the tents and showers, the six teams had to get through a Detour in which they either threw sticks at spinning discs or did a courtship dance that required them to jump up and down for a minute. “White men can jump,” Bopper (Mark’s teammate) yelled, perhaps not the best boast to make when surrounded by Masai warriors.

Before all of that, there was some small plane riding over some stunning landscape. Surprisingly, no one was required to parachute into the lava flow below.

Rachel and Dave

At the end of the episode, Dave and Rachel hopped on the mat for their fourth win. This means, if you’re keeping score at home, that each of the seven episodes have been won by one of two teams, Art and J.J. having taken three.

Overheard:

Art: That chick ain’t no teacher. She’s a cop.

Bopper: Oh, free candy.

Dave (to Rachel): Don’t misconstrue my support for yelling.

Rachel R. Living in Africa is hard work.

Mark: Don’t fart on me Bopper.

J.J. (after making a bed): I felt like a woman.

Ralph: Vanessa was great about following instructions.

Jamie: We’re here, we’re committed, and we lived to see another day.

Order of finish

1) Rachel and Dave

2) Bopper and Mark

3) Art and J.J.

4) Brendon and Rachel

5) Vanessa and Ralph

6) Jamie and Nary

Have a good week.