RACE TO THE BOTTOM

The Amazing Race, Episode Three, Season 21: 

What a day: First, a guy parachutes from 24 miles up in the sky and lands safely on terra firma waving a Travelocity gnome.

Then the Buffalo Bills win in overtime in Arizona, where they have been in witness protection following last week’s meltdown in San Francisco. Thanks to the victory, they are allowed to return to Buffalo, all sins forgiven. (While, most sins.)

Finally, the ever annoying substitute teachers Gary and Will survive (barely) the third leg of this season’s Amazing Race with a last-second come-from-behind, never-say-die, entirely lucky, eighth-place finish in a nine-team race in Indonesia.

Credit their refusal to quit. “They can knock us down, but they can’t make us stay down,” Gary said at one point.

Gary and Will

But also give credit to the money Gary slipped his team’s pedicab driver at a crucial point.

It was money well spent as their driver came to a fork in the road and made the right choice.

Brittany and Caitlin’s driver made the wrong choice, and they were thus eliminated, perhaps unfairly, though they had talked a better game than they played. (With their departure, Emily and Drew are also out of the pool.)

Caitlin and Brittany

The drama at the end didn’t quite make up for what was, overall, a yawner of an episode that didn't seem to generate any friction either between the teams or within the teams.

Abbie and Ryan, the winners of the first episode, won again, making me worry that we have a season like last season in which one team dominated.

But maybe there are dark clouds on the relationship horizon:

Abbie and Ryan

“It’s really hard to race as a couple,” Ryan said at the start. “Physically and mentally we can handle the race. But can we handle each other?”

Speaking of physical and mental, this leg of the race lacked what we might call  primal-fear challenges, the ones that make racers gulp and those of us watching at home leave the room. ("Just got to put out the cat. Don't hit pause." "We don't have a cat." "Really. Don't hit pause.")

No, no one at home had to squirm during this episode as the had to first carry some dishes in a restaurant, and then choose between marching in a very heavy costume or having an egg cooked in a coconut on top of their head. (Really. Who hasn't done that?).

Some alliances were formed, though, in a bit of foreshadowing, it was established that rockers, James and Abba (“Team Long Hair Don’t Care”) are lone wolves and possibly hateable. “We don’t need the validation of a group,” Abba explained.

The twins, Nadiya and Natalie, once again earned high marks for their energy. (Should we start a drinking game triggered by their Oh My Gods?)

The Chippendales, Jaymes and James, also earned valuable camera time with their wisecracks.

Joe Biden

Still, the Race may need a jumpstart, a little Joe Biden malarkey to spice things up. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Romney/Ryan takes on Obama/Biden in a worm-eating, wall-climbing, race to the top. Be there.

Overheard:

Caitlin: You’re going to see me really mad before you see me cry.

Gary: God is smiling on us today

Jaymes: You can just taste years of culture in your mouth.

Lexi: We didn’t get first, but we were pretty dang close.

Josh: The eggs were fresh. We’re farmers … The eggs were laid this morning.

Gary: We just suck. … We’re always behind.

Order of Finish

Abbie and Ryan

Trey and Lexi

Jaymes and James

James and Abba

Josh and Brent

Natalie and Nadiya

Rob and Kelley

Gary and Will

Caitlin and Brittany

That’s it,

Jim