Spoiler Alert: All's well that ends well...Recapping the Amazing Race Season 27 finale

Season 27, Episode 12, The Finale:

Hong Kong/Long Island -- There is Justice in the world.

Justin and Diana trying to get a ride

Last week’s plea was heard, the reporters, Joey and Kelsey, television colleagues who are dating, finished first when it counted the most.

They aced out two teams and pocketed $1 million for winning Season 27. (And, I should add, winning $100 for Team Showers in the pool.)

The million is enough for Joey to pay off his parent’s mortgage – he’s a good son. All that he has to do now is ask Kelsey to marry him.

I know, I know, Race watching veterans expected a grand proposal from Joey. They win; he drops to one knee, pops the question.

Kelsey jumps Joey for joy after the win

Didn’t happen, but, perhaps it will, on-air, back in California. Stay tuned.

I buried the lede.

The finale had the three remaining teams fly from Hong Kong to New York City and on to Long Island.

The teams faced fire-fighting, lobster trap pulling, Adirondack chair construction and three, yes three, memory challenges along the way.

The shocker wasn’t that Joey and Kelsey won. Rather, it was that Justin and Diana, the Green Team, lost, finishing second with only themselves to blame. (More about that in a minute.)

Justin and Diana assemble Adirondack chairs

Thus, Justin, the man who had prepared for years to compete on the Race and whose team had finished first in seven episodes, saw his dreams shattered.

“We did win enough to pay for our wedding,” Justin said, consoling himself.  “We got our honeymoon. We got a babymoon. But it’s not a million dollars.” 

(Babymoon? Google says, “A relaxing or romantic vacation taken by parents-to-be before their baby is born.”)

But why did they lose? Well, Justin was too tight-fisted to slip a cabbie $100 to wait while they were picking up a clue at Belmont Raceway. Thus, he and Diana were stranded, had to take a bus, lost time, etc., etc.

Otherwise they were their old selves, acing the memory challenges in which the contestants had to recall the flags of the countries they visited, assembling chairs like pros, etc.

Chris and Logan communicate

The Paparazzi, Logan and Chris, also failed to retain a cab when they should have (though they did try to swipe Joey and Kelsey’s ride), and thus they finished a distant third.

They also lost because they hadn’t bothered to prep themselves for the memory tests that almost always mark the finale. 

“We didn’t study flags," Chris said, admitting they had not brushed up on the obvious.

They may have been too busy sniping at each other to do their homework.

Their tendency to carp prompted what may have been the best moment of the season.

After the Paparazzi dragged into third, Phil asked them: “From the outside it doesn’t appear as if you're compatible at times....Do you still want to be together?”

Logan allowed that perhaps they should go into therapy, but that they weren’t thinking about leaving each other. 

Chris interjected that perhaps they should think about a split. 

The assembled contestants gasped, but Logan quickly said, “He’s joking.” Yeah, really.

Logan and Chris kiss and make up

According to the early numbers, it was the lowest-rated finale in Amazing Race history, getting just under 6 million viewers, a little less than the previous low, Season 26.

Some of the blame has to go to the move of the show from Sunday night to Friday night. 

Presumably, youngish people, the demographic most desired, have lives and are out on the town on Fridays. Then again, they do have VCRs and Apple TVs, so they could catch up with the program later if they wanted to.

And while the last two episodes were genuinely exciting, terrific television, overall  this season didn’t have the drama of previous seasons.

The Green Team dominated for far too long, and its male half, Justin, proved to be consistently annoying. He gloated while winning, cried while losing. Not pretty.

And the winners, Joey and Kelsey, were pleasant, but perhaps a little bland. In their bios, Kelsey had said she worried about Joey’s temper. We never saw that. A little might have been fun.

Kelsey (left) and Joey hit the beach

The Race editors were, as always, good at teasing out plot lines.

Certainly, the growing attention, perhaps unfair, to Chris and Logan’s dysfunction added spice. 

But it was impossible to warm up to the Paparazzi. Others teams, the Cheerleaders, the Texans, to name but two, were more likable.

Season 28 debuts in February with a cast of social media stars.

It’s a transparent attempt to pull in a younger audience. But so what? It could be fun. See you then.

Overheard

Logan: We said from the beginning we’d be our own worst enemy.

Chris: We’re going to be warriors instead of worriers.

Justin: Damn, we should have kept our cab.

Logan (to Chris): You’re not nice to me, but you sure are nice to Joey and Kelsey when they need a cab.

Chris: I’m taking my pants off.

Justin: I’m not giving up, I’m just sad.

Joey: Chris and Logan, they’re not exactly the brightest crayons in the box.

Chris: You know we were supposed to study everything and we didn’t study flags.

Logan: Africa is many countries.

Justin: My girl’s a beast when it comes to putting things together.

Phil: What a race, it’s been. Five continents, 10 countries, more than 34,000 miles.

Justin: It was truly heartbreaking, to come so far and to be so close.

Justin: I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it…One stupid mistake.

Order of finish:

Joey and Kelsey ($100 to Team Showers) 

Justin and Diana (eliminated) ($50 to Dennis Doell)

Chris and Logan (eliminated) ($30 to Cindy and Jim)