The race is not always to the well-prepared

By Jim Memmott

Amazing Race, Season 25, Episode 2

England – Mick Jagger, creepy, slinky Mick Jagger, reminds us often that you can’t always get what you want.

That lesson was driven home on Episode 2 of The Amazing Race, when Dennis and Isabelle, a duo that had prepped and prepped for all the challenges they might meet, even to the point of practicing archery, washed out on a punt.

No, no, no, they didn’t line up in the backfield and try to punt the ball downfield into host Phil Keoghan’s outstretched arms.

They were in the U.K., scenic Oxford, Inspector Lewis territory, and trying to get one of those flat-bottomed boats (a punt) from someplace to somewhere.

The dating couple got caught up in the current, spun around, etc. etc., and before they knew it Phil was kicking them off the Race. (And out of the pool went Team Boston, winning $20 for being first gone.)

“To be eliminated after being so careful and prepared it feels so bad,” said a stunned Isabelle, a student begging for mercy because she had studied so hard.

Nici, one half with her mom, Shelley, of the second worst team on this episode, had the same attitude.

They have been Race fans since William Henry Harrison was in the White House.

That kind of loyalty should count for something, but they, too, had trouble on the water, in part because Nici just had to go.

William Henry Harrison

Small children avert your eyes.

By “had to go” I mean, she just had to urinate. And so she did, right there on video. (At least she seemed to, though I think she kept her pants on. In don't want to talk about this anymore.)

Good golly, Miss Molly, has that ever happened on the Race? And if not, why not? The Racers must have to go while they are out challenging challenges. But, before this time the race cameras have looked the other way.

Of course, this time is different. If you’re in the Friday night timeslot, television’s Bermuda Triangle, as the Race now is, you’re one ratings disaster from infomercial land. Hence, show the racers relieving themselves. Desperate

Friday night TV

times; desperate remedies.

Back to Jagger. He also knew that while you can’t always get what you want, you do sometimes get what you need. Nici broke down in the cab ride to the finish, but she and her mom weren’t eliminated. They got what they needed.

And so did the other racers, though, we may have a problem. Stay with me on this.

The surfers, Bethany and Adam, finished an easy first, picking up an express pass that will allow them to skip a difficult challenge down the road.

Good grief, are they good. Even though Bethany only has one arm, she zipped through a challenge that required the racers to make a pancake and then run a lap in one minute 15 seconds, flipping it all the way. (Evidently, members of the House of Lords, bored out of their gourds, pass the time between votes practicing for the same event.)

A winning lord

The sparkly and cocky dentists, Jim and Misti, were right behind the surfers, proving that they are more than Race worthy.

It could be that the two top teams are too good, that the contest will be no contest. The real worry, though, is that the back-of-the-pack racers could be, well, dull. We need more quarreling, more whining, more backbiting.

But there’s hope. The Survivor survivors, Keith and Whitney, did some sniping at each other. Cross your fingers that they really go at it later on.

The firefighters, Michael and Scott, have comic potential. They are doing badly, but they are cheerfully full of themselves – Boston proud, for sure, and that’s fun.

I have hope, too, for dating couple Tim and Te Jay. They seem like accidental racers, not quite sure why they are suited up in red coats and funny hats, but they're enjoying themselves.

Winston Churchill

So bring on some fights and some friction, have the smug dentists really stumble, and fire the Churchill impersonator. (Really, was it necessary to have him bloviating and blowing cigar smoke into the racers’ faces”)

Ratings game

Some good news, I think. The overnight ratings for Friday showed the Race as Number One in its time slot with 6.16 million viewers, up from 5.48 million the week before. Last season on Sunday nights the Race usually drew around 8.4 million viewers.

Overheard

Te Jay: We’re petite but we pack a punch

Robbie: When everyone looked at the wrestlers they kind of thought we were dumb.

Bethany: Wow, I just sounded really blonde.

Shelley: We’re not here to make friends, we’re here to win.

Scott: I feel like the Swedish meatball guy.

Whitney: Be nice.

Kevin: I don’t have to be nice; you’re the nice one.

Mean palace guard: You completely choose to ignore my worldly, Yoda-like advice.

One of the firefighters: Now we’re coming back because that’s what Boston people do because we’re resilient.

Jim: Second place is fine, but second is just the first loser.

Isabelle: I almost feel there’s another universe where we did win the million dollars.

Order of finish

1) Adam and Bethany

2) Jim and Misti

3) Alli and Kym

4) Keith and Whitney

5) Te Jay and Tim

6) Michael and Scott

7) Brooke and Robbie

8) Amy and Maya

9) Shelley and Nici
10) Dennis and Isabelle