Oh Marie! She's not the salt of the earth

By Jim Memmott

Amazing Race, Season 23, Episode 2

Iquique and Santiago, Chili – Finally, after two or three seasons of playing nice, the Race would seem to have a contestant without a conscience, one who schemes and connives and complains.

Tim and Marie

That would be Marie, one half of the team of Tim and Marie, dueling exes, who stole several scenes of a fast-paced episode that found the racers in an open-pit salt mine, on a long bus ride and practicing the lost art of shoe-shining.

The Devil

“She’s the devil,” shouted Rowan of the Bingo Queen team of Rowan and Shane, as Marie plotted his eventual demise.  He shouldn’t have taken it personally. Tim, Marie’s ex, agreed that she has demonic qualities.

The devil got her way, as Rowan and Shane finished last of 10 and were eliminated. (Their pool supporters, Team Showers, get $20 for being the first out.)

Nonetheless, let's face it, the Bingo guys may have more than Marie to blame for their exit.

They lost valuable time trying to game the Chilean transit system. And, later, Rowan picked a shoeshine-stand proprietor who had nothing to do with the shoeshine challenge. The vendor's confusion was good theater, though, as Rowan

Rowan and Shane

dragged him through the streets against his will.

Regardless, I’m not so sure Rowan and Shane will be missed. For entertainers they weren’t all that entertaining. Just a joke or two would have been good.

The winners?

Former NFL teammates Chester and Ephraim by default. 

Chester and Ephraim

The Afghanimals, Leo and Jamal were the first to cross the line, but they were fined 30 minutes for short-changing their cabdriver. Team NFL made it through that window and took the prize.

The penalty angered Jamal, who blamed the problem with the cabbie on his cousin Leo, suggesting with scorn that his fellow Animal had not profited from studying economics at USC.

Other things divulged in episode two:

Romance: Last episode they were just flirting. Now the Afghanimals and the LA Ice Crew members, Ally and Ashley, are married, sort of. "We have more of a commitment," one of the Animals said, referring to his "Race Wives."

Skin: There was some serious bikini action as contestant were asked to create (and float in) salt baths,

Don't cry!

the Race producers doing all they can to up the ratings and win back the Emmy they recently lost after years of domination.

Tears: Maybe there is some crying in baseball. Nicky and Kim, the wives of Major League players, sure did a lot of whining. The salt was too heavy; the shoeshine stand assembly too hard. Waa, Waa.

Overheards:

Travis to Nicole: Just because you turned 40 today doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be an old lady.

Tim: Marie doesn’t really have a brake; she has a gas pedal only.

Rowan: I don’t want to talk; you’re using my air.

Ally: (Marie’s) probably a very miserable person.

Shane: You can’t have great success without great failure.

Marie:  My blood was boiling when I saw Bingo roll in.

Rowan: After 27 years I finally learned to appreciate Shane even more.

Order of Finish

1) Chester and Ephraim

2) Leo and Jamal

3) Brandon and Adam

4) Nicole and Travis

5) Jason and Amy

6) Tim and Daniel

7) Ally and Ashley

8) Tim and Marie

9) Nicky and Kim

10) Rowan and Shane