Sunday, February 24, 2013

Underwater near Bora Bora


Amazing Race, Season 22, Episode 2

Off to the Red Carpet
French Polynesia --  OK, spoiler alert, etc. If you were watching the Oscars and haven’t fired up the DVR yet to check out Episode 2 of this season’s Amazing Race read no further.

What? Five minutes of the Red Carpet show watching host Kristin Chenoweth interview herself – “Bradley Cooper, do you remember when you last saw me” – turned you away from the Awards and toward the race. Well, hello, we can talk.

So what did you think of that waterlogged 60 minutes somewhere in the area code for Bora Bora?

Were you shocked when Bates Battaglia of the hockey playing Battaglia Brothers took out his front dentures and talked about flossing with rope? 

Bates Battaglia
Hey, couth or uncouth, the icemen came in first, successfully diving for pearls and walking stilts in the sand and doing whatever else natives do out there in the Pearl of the Pacific.

Were you surprised that fear of the water did in Idries and Jamil, the twin doctors? Of course you weren’t, that fear was established last week, but it wasn’t pretty to watch the terror take hold.

The guys just didn’t want to dive for oysters (or were they clams?) containing pearls. No, the docs debated, brooded, hesitated, tried, quit, tried, did it the slowest possible way, switched challenges, succeeded, but lost so much time that they finished dead last. Phil Keoghan (who’s looking a little scruffy with what seems to be the start of a beard) sent them home. No mercy.

Koda Doell
Our hearts go out to them and to pool entrant Dennis Doell, who, for the second time in three seasons, is the first contestant to leave the pool. Yes, Dennis, proud housemate of Koda Doell, backed the clowns a year ago, and we all remember how poorly they did. But this time he has the consolation prize of getting his $20 entry fee back. How you go, Dennis.

So what else caught you off guard and/or delighted you in Episode 2?

Maybe it was the self-important, cheerfully diabolical John and Jessica, first last week, third this.

Schemers
You remember that by winning last week they picked up two Express Passes, those get-out-trouble documents that allow a team to skip a challenge on their way to the finish. They got to keep one to use when needed, but eventually they have to give the other away.

By the rules they agreed to, the pass should go to Dave and Cameron, the father-and-son cancer survivors. But Jessica and John aren’t saying they’re going to hand it over. Rather, they’re calling for some groveling. “We want the joy of other teams basically sucking up to us,” John explained.  

And speaking of Dave and Cameron, what did you think when Dave ruptured his Achilles tendon just a few steps from the finish line and second place?

Dave and Connor
He limped in, but will he be able to race some more? On crutches? Never been done that I can remember. And if he can’t, could Idries and Jamil be allowed back in?  Of course, even on crutches Dave could outrace Wynona of Team Alabama. Lordy, is she slow.

So what else would you like to chat about?

I bet you were a little taken aback by Winnie’s grammar. “I think me and Pam just went a little crazy?” No wonder the pair got lost at sea for a while.

Weren’t YouTube sensations Joey and Meghan an awful lot easier to tolerate this week than they were last?  And how about those roller-derby moms, Beth and Mona? Tough, resilient, cheerful.

The Buffalo newlyweds, Katie and Max? Does he ever stop talking, scheming, boasting, falling (well, at least when he’s on stilts). And when, oh when, are the country singers, Caroline and Jennifer going to sing?  Bring it on.

Overheard:

Connor: My dad and I, we don’t quit, that’s something cancer taught us.

John: This is a race, not an honesty contest.

Wynona: We’re not as young as the other chicklets.

Bates: Even with our brains, two are better than one.

Max: I am very skeptical about pursuing any kind of friendship with them.

Wynona:  Chuck’s legs are twice as long as mine; he works at Walmart and he runs up and down the store.

Order of finish:
1) Anthony and Bates
2) David and Connor
3) Jessica and John
4) Joey and Meghan
5) Chuck and Wynona
6) Beth and Mona
7) Caroline and Jennifer
8) Max and Katie
9) Pamela and Winnie
10) Idries and Jamil

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