A Day at the Beach

By Jim Memmott

Amazing Race, Season 22, Episode 1

Los Angeles/Bora Bora -- Here we go again.

Some dating surfers came in first; some country firefighters came in last; there was a terrifying sky dive (all went well) and there was life, and frustration, at the beach.

None of that, of course, could match the trauma of the Downton Abbey finale (fight fair, PBS), but the first episode of Season 22 of The Amazing Race wasn't meant to be a shocker. Rather, it was a getting-to-know-you shakedown cruise.

Max and Katie

And even that's not to be confused with a real-life high-seas cruise, where retirees munch ketchup sandwiches, swig bourbon and spend endless days playing Monopoly with strangers.

That scenario would have been especially hard for two of this season’s contestants, Max and Katie, newlyweds from Buffalo.

“In our everyday life we don’t have any friends,” Katie announced.

“Her likeability is low when it comes to strangers,” Max explained.

Whew. Don’t sound like real Buffalonians to me, not the sort of people who would give you the Ryan Fitzpatrick jerseys off their backs. (OK, that may not be a big sacrifice, but you get my point.)

Max and Katie did survive, however, by playing nice on the beach at Bora Bora.

Sand castle

All the other teams were at or on their way to the pit stop, but M and K along with Caroline and Jen (country singers) and Matthew and Daniel (firefighters from South Carolina) were getting nowhere looking for a clue in a sand castle.

So they decided to abandon that challenge (never ever have three teams done that in the history of the Amazing Race) and race canoes to the finish. The first two teams at the pit stop would survive despite a four-hour penalty. Last team in would be eliminated.

The firefighters, who thought they could win because they're guys, capsized twice and came in last. Thus they were gone before we really got to know them, heading home to a lot of teasing from their mates in the fire hall about being beaten by “two blonde girls.”

The episode began with Phil Keoghan declaring – drum roll, please – that the team that finished first on the day would receive two express passes, those coveted tickets that allow a pair to skip a challenge when they're in trouble.

But, and here's the catch, the winning team could only keep one of the passes. The second had to be given to another team during one of the next three episodes.

Jessica and John

Five duos made a pact early on that, should one of their teams finish first, it would give the second express pass to the second alliance team to arrive.

Thus, the winning team, surfers Jessica and John, would seem to be obligated to give that second pass to the second alliance team to finish, David and Connor, a father and son duo with a compelling back story (they are both cancer survivors).

But, holy cliffhanger, the winners implied that they might not make good on their promise. Stay tuned on that one. (And stay tuned on a possible marriage proposal. Jessica says she’s looking forward to “wearing the white dress.”)

It’s early days, so it’s hard to know which teams to like, which teams to despise.

Hockey mullet

You had to admire Chuck, Wynona’s husband, if only for his brave mullet, the first ever hairdo of that sort on Amazing Race, though I suspect that it’s fairly common on Amazing Race Canada. (OK, I made that up.)

Joey and Meghan, each a YouTube sensation, seemed less than admirable at first glance, if only for his excessive enthusiasm.

Idries and Jamil, twin OB/GYNs (another Amazing Race first, I bet) may be one of those teams with strong resumes and weak skills (they can’t swim, for one thing).

Winnie and Pamela, best friends from Los Angeles, came across as cheerful schemers, which usually helps on the Race.

Mona and Beth, roller-derby soccer-moms, have something to prove to their kids, which usually dooms a team in the long run.

Caroline and Jennifer, country singers, have good genes: Caroline is a descendant of Daniel Boone. Jennifer is the granddaughter of John Wayne.

Brothers Anthony and Bates are professional hockey players; though, surprisingly, they don’t have mullets.

Overheard

Chuck: I very much love doing taxidermy.

Joey: Yeah we are cute; we know.

Phil: All right, let’s get this race started. The world is waiting for you.

Idries: Shut up.

Jamil:  That’s our code word for 'I love you.'

Beth: In roller derby we learn from our mistakes

Max: In our diabolical minds, we had to do what we had to do to survive.

Order of finish:

1) Jessica and John

2) Anthony and Bates

3) David and Connor

4) Pamela and Winnie

5) Mona and Beth

6) Joey and Meghan

7) Chuck and Wynona

8) Idries and Jamil

9) Max and Katie

10) Caroline and Jen

Matthew and Daniel

Order of selection:

Here’s the order in which we pick for our pool:

Allison,

Emily and Drew,

Team Bushnell,

Team Showers,

Team Beltway

Dennis Doell

Team Boston

Bob and Sandy

Cindy and Jim

Team WalkWorth

That's it,
Jim