SEASON 16 FINALE

BROTHERLY VICTORY

The Pius brothers (yes, that’s actually their last name), were anything but holy.

But their cunning and foresight transposed them from whiners to winners as they edged out the Cowboys and won tonight’s Amazing Race finale.

Dan and Jordan

Thus Dan and Jordan became the first brother-brother duo to emerge victorious in the history of the Race. They won $1 million for themselves and $50 for Eileen and Tom Bushnell.

How fitting, as the brothers, like Tom, are Red Sox fans who will do anything when there’s money on the line.

“You can hate the game all you want, just don’t hate the player,” rationalized Jordan, justifying their cheating ways.

Actually, all the bros did was jump one place in a ticket line and sweet talk their way into first class on the jet to San Francisco.

They really won it with good old-fashioned smarts.

Dan figured out how to slow down the scroll on a computer monitor by sending his brother into a reverse spin.

And Jordan, an Amazing Race buff whose dream for years has been to compete and win, came well-prepared for the finale’s signature  memory challenge.

The second place Cowboys – another brother act and Mark’s team – were their usual cheerful selves, Cord even messing with Dan’s mind during the virtual reality challenge.

Jet and Cord

But at key moments they lost valuable seconds or minutes or whatever.

Jet made a point post-race of saying that they finished with their “character and integrity intact,” a shot at Dan and Jordan, who didn’t really seem to mind as they reveled in their victory.

Caite and Brent (Emily and Drew’s team) finished third out of three teams.

As always, they were slowed by language problems, even though the race finished back in the good old USA in San Francisco.

In their defense, it did appear that at least one of their cabbies may have arrived with them on the same flight from Shanghai; he was lost; they were lost.

Brent and Caite

“Dumb ass,” Caite barked. “I want to punch him in the face.”

Actually, that was just one of what seemed to be several near Jerry Springer moments.

Jet and Cord contemplated taking out Dan and Jordan at the airport.

And during what is the usual post-race group hug, Brandy of Carol and Brandy, the fifth-place finishers, turned on Caite for her part in their elimination.

“I don’t want to hear sorry,” Brandy said, giving Caite the evil eye. “You purposely whacked us…I don’t want to hear sorry from her.”

Actually, Caite was not there to apologize. No, as always, she had been making the case for her own intelligence. But she paused long enough to vanquish her foe.

“Obviously, I’m the one standing here and not you,” she said to Brandy, flashing her best Miss Teen South Carolina smile and keeping her tiara intact.

Going by the numbers, the best team probably didn’t win. The Cowboys had four first-place finishes, the most of any team.

The Brothers finished first just twice, once when they did a scary fast forward, and the other at the end of the season. Just enough.

Overheard:

Jet: “If they want to drop the gloves; I’m gonna drop the gloves.”

Jordan: “People who ride bicycles are smart, that’s a general rule.”

Brent: “Chill out; just don’t even talk now, because all you’re going to

do is cry.”

Phil: “Twenty three days, five continents, 40,000 miles. Dan and Jordan you are the official winners.”