Amazing Race, Season
22, Episodes 11 and 12
By Jim Memmott
Belfast and
Washington – Were they taking us for a ride?
Throughout the just-completed Season 22 of The Amazing Race, the hockey playing
Battaglia brothers passed themselves off as more brawn than brains. And yet
when the season was on the line, the boys proved that they were sneaky smart.
 |
| Bates and Anthony |
As always in the ultimate episode – the one that played out
in the second-hour of the two-hour finale – the contestants’ memories were
challenged, not once in this case, but twice.
The boys were well-prepared. First Bates pulled out the
notebook in which he had recorded their order of finish on each leg. Thus he
was able to open a clue-containing briefcase.
And then the hockey guys survived a
needle-in-the haystack challenge (actually a couple hundred globes in a large
tank) because they remembered the countries they had visited, in order.
But give their athleticism its due; they also gained valuable
time at Nationals Park with Bates on a zip line dropping a ball to Anthony in
a mascot suit. They solved that problem quickly, their years of playing catch
as youngsters paying off.
teddy.jpg) |
| Teddy of the Washington Nationals |
The winners of five of the 12 episodes, they have to be one
of the more popular champions in recent race history.
I don’t think they made any enemies, and they seldom turned
on each other. Beyond that, Bates could be counted on for good lines in every
episode. (And good mugging, too. He stopped the show in Ireland with his
noose-to-the-neck pantomime.)
We’ll never know if he got his backpack back, whether he
washed his underwear, or, for that matter, whether he came away with a phone
number from either of the country singers, Jennifer and Caroline.
 |
| Caroline and Jennifer |
The hockey guys’ win means $100 to their pool sponsors, the
soon-to-be married Emily and Drew. If that doesn’t warm a cold heart, nothing
will.
Second place went to Buffalonians Max and Katie, who took
the first hour of the finale, episode 11 in Ireland, but came up short in
Washington.
Perhaps they were doomed when Max, a self-described “unapologetic Republican” had to endure having his picture taken with a
likeness of President Barrack Obama.
Or it may just be that Max had bad luck as he looked for the
right clue carrying “Secret Serviceman” around the Tidal Pool. To be honest,
even though I would classify myself as an “unapologetic Democrat,” I don’t
think he did anything wrong.
+tidal+pool.jpg) |
| Tidal Pool |
Roller Derby Moms Beth and Mona came in third, through some
fault of their own.
Basically, they almost got eliminated in the first hour
because they didn’t stop and try to understand some clues involved with serving a
five-course dinner. And in the second hour they were terrible at zip-line
baseball, a tough test, for sure.
As a consolation prize their pool sponsors, Team Beltway
(Mark Memmott and Elizabeth and Tom Cowley), get $30, as does the first poolster
to go out, Dennis Doell. As you may recall, he saw his team, the doctor
brothers Idries and Jamil, exit because they were afraid of the water.
Jennifer, of Jennifer and Caroline, had her own water woes
in the first hour of the finale.
A challenge asked her to snorkel a distance in a muddy bog –
the “quirkiest sport on earth,” according to Phil.
 |
| Second quirkiest sport Autralian Rules football |
But Jennifer couldn’t see, couldn’t swim, couldn’t breath.
It was only because of the power of prayer that she made it on her third try.
Too little, too late. The duo was eliminated and didn’t get to compete in the
last leg.
As is Race custom, all the previously eliminated teams were
there at Mount Vernon to cheer in the final three teams.
It was especially poignant to see the father-son team of
Dave and
 |
| Dave and Connor |
All in all, though, it was a good season.
Yes, it could have done with a few more jerks, but that doesn’t seem to be happening that much any more.
And yes, it may have been a little unfair to have
professional athletes like the hockey brothers (and, for that matter, the
roller derby moms) even competing.
But athletic skill doesn’t always translate into victory.
 |
| Flight time and Big Easy |
My favorite sporting duo, Harlem Globetrotters Big Easy and
Flight Time, got close but didn’t make it to the Season 15 finale. Then they were second in Season 18, not quite finishing the unfinished business of their prior outing.
In season 17, professional beach volleyball players Rachel
Johnston and Katie Seamon were the fourth team to go out.
In season 20, professional soccer player Andrew Weber and his twin brother Eliot was gone after three episodes.
So it helps if you’re a jock -- Keisha and Jen, winners of Season 18, were Division I athletes -- but it’s just as important to
take notes and do your homework. That’s what the Battaglias did. Give them a
hand.
Overheard:
Caroline: I think
we got this far because Jen and I have so much positive energy.
Jennifer: We’re
the little engine that could.
Bates: The hardest
part for me was trying to help squeeze his junk into that wet suit.
Jennifer: I don’t
think I can do it (swim).
Max: It was much
better off if I just did the bull work and she did the thinking.
Bates: What color is chartreuse?
Max: We’re not
going to be intimidated by a couple of professional athletes. Those guys are
getting old.
Beth: I hope this
isn’t our destiny to go down like the Titanic.
Bates: I like our
chances of finding a bar; that’s something we’re good at.
Katie (to Max): Oh
my god, you suck at baseball.
Anthony: We’ve
been sitting on planes reading maps.
Jennifer: We are
so happy Bates and Anthony won.
Order of Finishes:
Episode 11
1) Max and Katie
2) Anthony and Bates
3) Mona and Beth
Episode 12
1) Anthony and Bates
2) Max and Katie
3) Mona and Beth
HOOORAY! Yay for our fun and awesome hockey men.
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